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Red Square Cabaret

Red Square Cabaret


The Story

On a cross country drive in the fall of 2008, a close friend of the band told an enthralling story. In the interest of keeping her identity private, we'll call her Kim. The tale she told was a one of love, betrayal, mystery, and espionage. She started the story with a sentence I can still clearly hear falling from her lips, "I guess I've kept this secret long enough". That simple sentence, loaded with intrigue, was the intro into the story that would become the basis of "Anaxiphilia".

After moving from Seattle to Chicago in 2003, Kim found a diary and a letter tucked in a side panel of her moving truck. The diary belonged to a young man, we'll call Eric, and the letter was written to him by a woman we'll call Nina. There was little about the diary that was very interesting aside from one week towards the end of January, 1982. Most of the diary detailed Eric's sexual exploits, failed past relationships, sibling rivalry, and some bad poetry, but on Thursday, January 21st the diary shifted focus to a beautiful young woman that Eric spotted in a nightclub. As that week in 1982 progressed, Eric's affection for this woman grew strong.

Our friend Kim was uncharacteristically nervous as she told the story and revealed every detail of that week in the diary from memory. We silently hung on every word as she reached the end of Wednesday the 27th that culminated in the young lady in the story being gunned down on a moonlit street by unidentified assailants. We were all skeptical yet completely captivated. I was impressed by her uncanny recollection of details, but when she finished and I asked about the contents of the letter, she simply responded, "I don't remember." She went on to inform us that to be on the safe side, she brought the diary and the letter to the police shortly after it was found.

After about a month of investigation, the police returned the items to Kim and informed her that they were most likely a work of fiction. Although there were a number of missing persons reports filed nationally around the same time period, there was no hard evidence that pointed towards one of them being Nina. As Kim finished the story, we voiced our agreement with the police through quips about romanticized cold war espionage and how it sounded like Eric may have watched a few too many spy movies. None of us who were listening to this story were terribly surprised that it all turned out to be a yarn.

After about a quarter mile of silence on the 845 mile trip, Kim looked up from quickly checking her phone and spoke barely loud enough to hear over the hum of the van's tires, "That's not the end of the story." Kim went on to explain that 2 days after the diary and letter were returned to her, she was the victim of a burglary. Her apartment was not trashed. There was no forcible entry. Not a single throw pillow was out of place. Only two things were missing; the letter and the diary pages that detailed the events of January 21 - 27, 1982. Those very curious 7 days became the inspiration for Anaxiphilia.



January 21, 1982


Just another Thursday night in the city
Neon signs and lovely people line the street
I hope there's a place for me behind the velvet
A cushy spot to see and be seen

Quietly, patiently
Waiting for your moment to shine

Don't let them tell you you're not beautiful
Don't let them tell you that you're wrong
Don't let them tell you that you're fragile
Don't let them tell you you're not strong

I can't help but feel your anxiety
Knowing full well I won't do a thing
Cartoon-like faces painted painted blue and pink
Fiery stares from across your drink



January 22, 1982


Same place, same faces
Different night, same routine
But tonight I am hopeful
That you'll be back on the scene

Just as the room got crowded
My eyes turned towards the door
In you walked, but not alone
And moved slowy across the floor

For a moment our eyes locked
And you may disagree
Tried to play like an accident
But I felt the chemistry

I closed my eyes and tried to shake
Your image from my mind
When I opened them you'd moved closer
We were nearly intertwined

Disarm me, alarm me
You have a dangerous way to charm me
Just take me and make me
Weak in the knees so you can break me

You tried to talk above the music
I pretended I could hear
I could tell by the look you gave me
Your intent was crystal clear

I grabbed you by the hand
Not believing this was real
Ran a block or two in the pouring rain
And jumped behind the wheel

You said, "Drive"
I asked, "Where?"
You said, "It doesn't matter just away from here"
Windshield wipers synched with my heartbeat
Your shyness was alluring
You soft voice was sweet

The sun was peeking
Above the horizon in the east
I wanted to keep ahold of you
But you needed to be released

You flashed a smile
It returned your way
I leaned in to kiss you
But you turned away

She shut the door and tapped the glass
There was nothing I could say
She pressed her hand to her lips
Then turned to walk away

That was the onset of my disorder
I had fallen for her



January 23, 1982


Let the shadows control you
Let them seep into your skin
Let tonight be an anchor
When tomorrow begins

The music is pulsing around us
I'm giving everything to you
You can't deny the feeling
Even though you want to

Forget your hurt
Forget your past
Forget the chance
That this won't last

Take my body
Take my soul
Just take my hand
And take control

Shallow breath, flush faced, tongue tied
But we don't need to say a word
Lights flashing, bodies moving
Tonight we'll destroy this world

Eyes locked, racing thoughts, racing pulse
Nothing can slow my beating heart
All alone in a crowded room she whispered
Let's tear this world apart

Tonight we'll destroy this world
And hope there's room for us in the next
We'll stand quietly over our past lives
And pay our respects

I'm feeling a rush I can't explain
I couldn't get much higher
The simplest signal thrown my way
Let's set the night on fire



January 24, 1982


The sun spilled between the shades
And washed the room in a golden glow
A calm still filled the air
With a feeling I did not know

I've been in this place a thousand times
But something's different about today
In the past when it came to love
My winning move was not to play

I want to wrap myself
In the fabric that you've sewn
And walk blindly off the edge
Into places unknown

I've never felt this way before
And I'm not one to pursue
You leave me wanting more
I think I was born for you

You hold a secret yet to reveal
I don't mind if it goes untold
I'm not without my own past
One I'm planning to withhold

You don't quite seem to trust me
There's something missing from my view
I don't need to be perfect
As long I am good enough for you
It's becoming harder
For me to see
If you're a friend or enemy



January 25, 1982


It's in the way you move
Something about your walk
It's in the way you brush your hair back
It's in the way you talk

Just drop the act
I can see right through
Sometimes I wish I hadn't
Seen this side of you

Puts a turn in my stomach
Puts a pain in my chest
Sad to find out
You're just like the rest

I saw something new in you
I can pray, I can hope
I can scream at the skies
I can wish, I can beg
I can tell myself lies

I can delude myself
I can fool myself
But I can't undo
Seeing this side of you



January 26, 1982


You pulled me into a dark place
And decided to tell me the truth
You laid all of your past lives
In an effort to show me the proof

For a moment I stared at the ceiling
Wondering just what to do
When your voice broke through the silence
You explained what you'd gotten into

Simple lives, they have passed us by
Time is short and you can't deny
If you stay they'll destroy us too
If you run I will run with you

You said everything would be different
As I sat and looked in your eyes
The sound at the door made it difficult
To sort out the truth from the lies

You grabbed for your bag and my hand
I knew I was being controlled
You kissed me and moved towards the window
The Cold War isn't so cold



January 27, 1982


You pulled me close and eased out of the window
Across the rusted metal worn by time
The muted voices following us closely
You took the first steps of our decline

I made a promise to
Try to see this thing through
And if We make it
A new life awaits us

New names and places
With different faces
Under false pretense
We'll start again

Familiar streets felt so foreign
When guided solely by moon light
Quickly moving in and out of shadows
As a single shot pierced the night

She handed me a letter
A message to convey
She urged me to save myself
As she slipped away

I will feel regret again
The sun will rise and set again
And I will be right here
Right here
Right here



Anaxiphilia is available as a lovely physical CD, digital download, or for your streaming pleasure at a variety of retailers and music services. Below are just a few of the 95+ places you can find the album.

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